Did I ever tell you I was Jesus?

April 16, 2006 at 9:48 pm | Posted in Personal | 8 Comments

Now, I’m not claiming to currently be Jesus mind you. I’m just letting you know that in the past I have been Jesus.

In Toronto, there is an Anglican Church that puts on a passion(death of Christ) play every year at Easter. They’re not a professional acting troup; they’re a congregation. But in spite of that, the shows end up being pretty darn professional. They put a lot of work into the show and the technical aspects. And if they can find someone they like, they hire a professional actor to play the role of Jesus.

Well for three years, that professional actor was me. I wept on the Mount of Olives, I performed miracles, I was flogged and crucified and I rose from the dead and the whole thing. One of my favorite scenes was near the beginning of the play where Jesus finds merchants selling their whares in the temple and he flips out and drives them out of the temple by whipping them with ropes. This wasn’t a fire-and-brimstone production by any means, but it did catch the audience’s attention and set up JC as a real person with real emotions.

Now, I don’t go to church, and I don’t know anything about the bible, and there are a lot of times that I frankly don’t know what to believe about anything. But I do feel a certain connection to Jesus, kind of like I’ve walked a mile in his sandals. It’s given me a feeling like J is kind of a friend, so sometimes I talk to him, and when I talk to him I don’t really think of it as praying. I just think of it as talking.

And also, I get the feeling that if I ever say his name, he’ll hear it. For example: “Jesus, this milk smells bad.”

Decades later: “I agree with you. That milk did smell bad.”



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  1. That’s a cool story!

    Hi Jesus! (‘Hi Bob!”)
    there’s folks out there (including the religion I follow) that say as long as a person’s remembered, they will still be “present” in some sense. And talking with them’s (kind of) possible – or at least a good way to keep good memories alive.

    and if you walk a mile in someone’s sandals, y’all will know more about them than someone who reads a book about them in some distant era *silly grin*

  2. i’m drunk, what do you expect

    i lol’ed at the last couple lines.

  3. flogged, eh? I knew you were a masochist at heart.

  4. This whole entry is so rich in irony, I can’t quip, I can only wallow in it.

  5. I love how you told this story!

    It sounds to me (the Pagan) like you know Jesus better then some of his followers.

  6. that’s like me and God, I think. i just talk. like, “hey God, how’s it going?” and talk about my life…

  7. Heh, his girlfriend is pagan. Colin keeps asking me if I’ve turned anyone into a newt lately. *rolls eyes*

  8. Groovy.

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