Friday Night

April 11, 2009 at 2:53 am | Posted in Personal | Leave a comment

All is misery and loneliness. I have no reason to be awake. I have no reason to sleep. For eighteen months, I have waited for happiness to arrive and it has not. For six of those months I have tried to find some reason to continue my existence, but none has presented itself.

The only reason that I do not end my miserable existence is that I do not know what lies beyond death. “Aye that is the rub, for in that sleep what dreams may come.”

At the best of times, I am able to delude myself into believing that to exist is better than to not exist. So I continue, hoping an empty hope that someday I will feel something that may be mistaken for happiness.

I now know why men seek the comfort of prostitutes. If I must suffer, perhaps I must not suffer alone.

Good night Internet. Maybe tomorrow I will find some hollow comfort in your distraction.

Vancouver Moose.

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